Dear Ching Pin,
I have known you since we were cycling around Taiping; I attended your 17th birthday party where your mum made such a lot of wonderful food and she was so happy when so many of your friends came to celebrate the big day with you. That was a long time ago.
I do not lay claim to the fact that I knew you so well then, neither do I do so now. But may I take the liberty to say that Fabian is so right to say that you are a unique individual. You are. Likewise, everyone else in this e-group.
As a member of the group, I must admit that I have been, at turns, irritated, frustrated, amused, horrified, angered at some of the exchanges. At the same time, I also understood that much of what was said, is not unlike what happens in the real world. It is not unusual to meet people who are unkind, nasty, rude and unreasonable. Neither is it unusual to meet people who are kind, polite, considerate and reasonable. It struck me that our e-group was very much a microcosm of the real world, except we are held together by the bond of the alma mater. For some, that's tenuous; for others, its enough to bind us although we hate each others' guts.
Expecting everyone to be humane and respectful doesn't exist in the outside world. What makes us think that we can expect these of each other just because we are Tigers? Don't you think its an exercise in futility? Don't you think we are setting ourselves up for a big fall?
Early this year when I wanted to raise funds for eggs for our rugby boys, all these came home to me very quickly. What began as a well-intentioned effort on my part turned into objections, suggestions and comments, and very little true support in terms of pledges. It left a very bad taste in my mouth, particularly when someone insinuated that I was only doing it because of my "personal relationship" with Coach Din, and I was not really thinking about the well-being of the boys. It rankled me deeply then. I questioned rigorously the kind of group we really were. I thought then, and even now that maybe our stripes was mere skin, they never came near our heart. But I stayed on.
The reason I am still with the e-group is because I learnt that we are not all the same, and never can be. That the only thing that's important to me is my own conviction, and that whatever I do comes from my heart. I also understand that this is an e-group, not a care group. We can say what we think and feel, but we do not have to share our personal angst and challenges and expect people to be considerate, pat us on the back and extend sympathy.Ironically, the latter is one reason why I also enjoy being a member. The lively, hard-hitting exchanges hardly exist in any other forum.
And so, its actually up to us how we deal with the bullets. We can shoot back, but do expect to be shot at. If you don't want to play, lay low. It's just like the real world Ching Pin, just like the real world.
Take it easy, my friend.
Suet Fun
